Have you heard of the book Chicken Soup for the Soul? Do you know that the author, Jack Canfield, was rejected by 144 publishers before he finally found one that would publish it?  In addition, that publisher had so little faith in the book, that he thought they would be LUCKY to sell 20,000 copies.  Today, Jack Canfield has sold over 123 million copies in just North America and over 500 million worldwide!

What if Mr. Canfield had decided he was too afraid of failure to keep going even after finding a publisher that would publish his book?

How about Thomas Edison?  As an inventor, he made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.  Yet, when a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?”  Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times.  The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

But what if Mr. Edison had been too afraid of ultimate failure and he had quit trying after only 500 attempts?

Think of a small child who is just beginning to consider learning to walk.  What if they chose never to even try to take a step because they were too afraid they might fail?  Does this seem silly?  Perhaps.  But think about it.  What would the consequences be of such a choice?

As a child learns to walk, they fall down numerous times.  They fail.  But they don’t hesitate to keep trying.  They get back up and try again and again.  They are excited for the challenge.  They want the reward – fabulous mobility!  You accepted that challenge as a young person and reaped the reward!  So what happened to you from the time you were learning to walk until now?  What was it that changed that made you have fear of failure?
Fear is an inherent emotion.  It is a part of your fight or flight instinct.  It is through life experiences that you attached fear to failure.  At some point, you tried something and according to your standards, you failed (everyone has a different definition of failure).  This was a negative experience for you.  It was a terrible feeling.  It hurt.  You felt bad.  Your self esteem was attacked.  People made fun of you.  So you created an association with all of those low vibrating emotions to failed attempts.  This made you more cautious about moving forward, trying new things, branching out.  You started to hesitate before doing anything that you thought might open you up to such hurt again.

Now that you are an adult, you have so many experiences in your belt that have been less than satisfactory, that you consider failures, you have a very real sense of fear of failure.

So what are you to do about this very real fear?  You can suck it up and try anyway – some have that inner strength (I don’t).  If you succeed how great will be your success!!  But what if you fail?  Will you be able to overcome it the next time around?  Do you have the persistence of Jack Canfield or Thomas Edison?  I’m not sure I do.

Fortunately, there is a way to overcome fear of failure.  In order to do so, you must get to the root of the fear.  It is not complicated, but it will require some honesty and thinking.

1. Choose something you have been afraid to do because you might experience some kind of failure. For our example we will use speak at an upcoming conference.
2. Define what failure would be. In our example, failure would be no one would listen to me – I would be a joke.
3. Expose the worst thing(s) that could happen. Here are a few from our example.
   1. I will be a total embarrassment to myself and my family.
   2. My face will turn red – it does every time I am the center of attention.
   3. I will lose my job.
   4. People will think I am stupid.
   5. The audience will make fun of me.
   6. I will get booed.
4. Dig deeper. For our example we will use a) I will be a total embarrassment to myself and my family.  Ask yourself:  Why is this a fear?  Why am I afraid to be an embarrassment?  What are the real consequences?  Why do I care what this audience thinks about me and my family?  What is the benefit of speaking at the conference?  Why is this something that I want to do?  This may take a little soul searching.  And when you think you have your answers, keep going.  Keep asking yourself why?  Repeat this process with all of the “worst things” you identified.  As you continue to ask why you will discover 2 things:
   1. The real reason you want to do this – your strength
   2. The real reason you are afraid to try– your fear

It is also very likely that all of your “worst things” and “wants” will narrow down to just one or two strengths and one or two fears.

5. Turn your fear into your strength. Using our example let’s say we have narrowed our fear down to not being respected by peers and our strength to be respected by peers.  Did you just have an Ah Ha Moment?  Yes!  So many times our real fear is that our real desire will not manifest.  This is why the discovery process is so important.  Now that we know the real underlying fear.  We can heal.  Create a list of affirmations of what your strength looks like.  Using our example, some might be:
   1. I am respected by my peers
   2. It is safe for me to be respected
   3. I am a success
   4. It is safe for me to be a success
   5. It is safe for me to experience failure
   6. Failure is a step toward success
   7. I am important
   8. My peers and I have a mutual respect for each other
   9. My peers respect my failures
   10. I respect myself

Once you have your list, plug them in!  Read them every day, several times a day.  Choose to let go of fear and embrace courage.  Choose to truly believe these affirmations and set aside any doubts.  Choose to embrace your new found freedom and courage.

6. Take action. You have uncovered and identified your underlying fear(s).  You have replaced it with courage through your daily affirmations.  Now you are free to take action.  Using our example once again, accept the invitation to speak at the conference.  Do so with confidence.  You fully understand what is at risk – NOTHING and how it will affect you – ONLY FOR THE GOOD.  Weather your speech is recorded as one of the best speeches in history or you trip over your words and blush uncontrollably, it doesn’t matter, it is a success for you.  You know that what you truly desire is the respect of your peers.  You know you already have it – no matter how well or poorly your speech goes.  Your speech can do nothing but fortify the respect of your peers.  You have taken the steps to ensure that with this exercise.

This can be life changing if you let it.  Overcoming fear is freeing beyond words.  Discovering what we are truly afraid of is exhilarating.  Give it a try!

Through the process, you may discover blocks that you just can’t seem to overcome, fears you just can’t break free of.  If you uncover some fear you can’t seem to shake, I recommend seeking help from an energy therapist/healer such as myself.  Energy therapists/healers, clear out those pesky blocks that are holding you back.  Oft times they can even be passed down to you through your energetic DNA.  I use the SimplyHealed Method™.  It is easy, graceful, non-invasive, and oh so freeing.

Now is the time!  You no longer have to let the fear of failure hold you back.  Implement these 6 steps and enjoy your next adventure.

Carolyn