I worked in a busy office for many years and I was the queen of multi-tasking.  You would often find me answering a phone call and scheduling an appointment while typing a report and fielding a question from someone peering in my office door all at the same time.  It seemed I could juggle anything and everything that came at me and do it all at once.  I WAS AMAZING!  My coworkers always counted on me because I could get it done faster and better than most – even if it wasn’t my responsibility.

Today my juggling is a little different, but just as demanding.  I find myself fixing dinner while entertaining children – and keeping them safe from any and all danger I don’t know exists until they find it – responding to my husband’s questions, checking my email and texts, sifting through the day’s mail and trying to remember what it was I needed to do that evening.  It is a bit of a circus.  But I do it all and seemingly all at once.

Does this remind you of your day?  Your life?  It can be exhausting to say the least.

I remember a friend telling me once upon a time how he enjoyed spending time with me because he felt he had my undivided attention.  He shared with me his wisdom about how important it was to Be in the Moment.

I’ve pondered on that thought several times over the years and even more so recently.  I find that I am often so busy Going Through the Motions that I forget all about why I am there and why I am doing whatever it is I am doing.

Perhaps you have seen the meal challenge that has circled social media recently.  Everyone arrives at the restaurant and places their cell phones in the middle of the table.  The first one to check their phone gets to buy everyone dinner.

Or maybe you have seen the TV commercial for distracted driving.  There are people walking, driving, riding bicycles, etc with enormously oversized distractions such as fries, coffee, makeup, cell phones and they are causing accidents.  Have we really become so intent on multi-tasking rather than being in the moment that we have to have TV commercials to teach us the dangers of distracted driving?!?!?!

How about spending time with a loved one.  Are you really present?  Or are you just going through the motions?  Is your grandfather telling you all about his childhood, his life experiences all while you are perusing Facebook or thinking about all the other things you need to be doing?

What is it that makes us feel like we need to be doing more than one thing at a time?  Why are we so obsessed about multi-tasking and why do we find ourselves just going through the motions?

In an internet search I found some interesting thoughts.

1. Multi-tasking actually wastes 20-40 percent of our time! This is simply because we can’t effectively focus on more than one important task at a time.  When we do, our attention gets divided, thus making us less productive.
2. Multi-tasking has a negative effect on our stress levels. Dealing with multiple things at once makes us feel overwhelmed, drained and exhausted.

If you are interested in knowing the science behind these two ideas, I encourage you to research it yourself.  There is a plethora of evidence out there!  I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty here, but WOW!  There is scientific evidence that really points a finger at multi-tasking and makes you want to rethink the whole concept.

So what about just going through the motions?  Have you ever hopped in your car and headed to the store and when you arrived you don’t even remember the journey getting there?  It has happened to me a time or two.  I call that going through the motions.  Obviously, I was on some sort of autopilot!  It seems a little dangerous.

Are there areas of your life that are on autopilot?  Is your time with your family just a routine?  Are you just going through the motions?  Do your family meals go something like this:  Everyone sits down together in front of the TV and eats dinner while watching a meaningless show and playing with their phones?  There isn’t any conversation at all.  If you need to share something, you text it to the person sitting right next to you.  I think that is just going through the motions.

There is an increasing need in our world for human interaction – and most of us don’t even realize it.  So much of our lives these days is centered around technology and isolation.  We no longer go to the local store and converse with the clerk and build a friendship – we shop online and our “stuff” magically shows up at our door.  Banking is done online (do you even know your banker?).  Many work from home behind a computer screen all day.  There is no face time with other people.  What about video games?  I’m not a big fan of video games in general, but now you don’t even have to get together in your friend’s basement to play – it is all done online, in a virtual world!  In some ways it feels we are becoming robots.  Mindless beings performing daily tasks without thought or interaction.

It’s time to take a hard look at where we are and how we are spending your time.  Most of us don’t even realize we are not “in the moment”.  When spending time with your family where is your phone?  Your tablet?  I propose if it is in sight, you are not in the moment.  That may seem a little harsh.  But think about it.  Have you ever had something really important you wanted to share with someone – a trial? a triumph? a concern? a health issue? a dream? – just anything that was really important to you and right in the middle of the conversation their phone beeps and they pick it up and look at it.  Right then and there you have lost them.  They are no longer listening.  Even if they don’t look, their mind wanders to “Who is that?  Could it be important?  Should I check it?”  How does that make you feel?  Now put the shoe on the other foot.  ARE YOU SENDING THAT MESSAGE?

Here is something I have been practicing lately and I challenge you to do the same.  Take time to be present – BE IN THE MOMENT.  Take your phone, turn it off, place it in another room and spend 5 minutes doing something.  It could be having a conversation with a loved one where you really listen to them and for 5 minutes they are all that matters in the whole wide world.  Meditate – show yourself how much you care about you.  Write a letter.  Read a book.  Whatever it be, DO JUST ONE THING.  Don’t let your mind wander (this can be challenging).  Really savor everything about what you are doing.  Feel it.  Taste it.  See it.  Smell it.  Treat it as though your life depends upon remembering everything about those 5 minutes.  When the 5 minutes is up, take time to reflect on how it felt to really be present and to be focused and truly in the moment.  If you really want to go the extra mile, journal your experience.

This is a great exercise to teach you how to be present.  At first it is going to be challenging.  You will have to work hard to keep your mind from wandering.  You may go through withdrawals because you are so attached to your phone!  But trust me… IT IS WORTH IT.  As you master 5 minutes a day, you will find you can start implementing the art of being in the moment into more and more of your daily activities.

As you choose to make being in the moment a part of your life, your outlook will change.  Your demeanor will change.  Your stress will be reduced.  Your productivity will improve.  Your relationships will blossom.

Take the challenge and BE IN THE MOMENT and not just going through the motions!

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