Last night I attended a beautiful Christmas program, “The Forgotten Carols”.  While this program has been coming to my home town for around 25 years, this was the first time I had ever attended.

In fact, even though for many it is an annual tradition, I didn’t even know a thing about the story line or anything.

I have to say I was blown away and very moved.  I loved it.  What a beautiful message it had.

As I sat there through many scenes and songs, with tears streaming down my face, wishing I had brought a box of tissues, I realized something that is missing from the lives of so many.

It’s not easy to put this feeling I had into words, but I’m going to try.

I’m one of those lucky people who has a Facebook feed filled with uplifting thoughts and images.  My friends share beautiful stories of love and friendship.  I am surrounded by people who are similar.  They are happy, loving, giving and accepting.

I am blessed.

Do you find yourself surrounded by such things?  I sure hope so.

But here is my epiphany from last night.  Even though we are surrounded by such good and our friends and family members tell us wonderful things about ourselves, we don’t believe them.

That’s right.  Have you ever read a thought that says something like… “You are capable, brave & significant”…. or  “You are stronger than you know”…. Or “You are enough – just as you are”… and thought to yourself – ya right!  Not me!  I wish I was that kind of person.  But no, not me; I suck.

We can have beauty, love and support all around us and still not see the light within us.  Others can see our light shining out toward them, but we believe it is only a flicker while they see a huge flood light.

So why do we hide our light from ourselves?  Why do we refuse to see within?  Why do we choose to ignore our Divine gifts and hide them from ourselves?  Why are we afraid to love ourselves?

I can’t say as I know the answer, but I do have a few thoughts on the matter.

I think it has to do with the struggle between the spirit and the ego.

There is a Cherokee parable, Two Wolves, that helps us see this struggle…

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life…

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

“One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

“This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The old chief simply replied,

“The one you feed.”

So why do we choose to feed the ego rather than the Divine Spirit within?  Why do we choose to believe the lies we tell ourselves about our worth and our abilities rather than the truth?

Because it is familiar.  It’s is easier.  It is like an old heavy blanket that keeps us safe.  Safe from the unknown.

What if we chose to believe those amazing things people tell us we are?  What if we truly tapped into our Divine worth and started to recognize who we REALLY are?

Could we really live up to who that person is?  Or would we fail?  Is it really a fear of failure that keeps us feeding our ego?  Is it a fear of the unknown?

As uncomfortable and unhappy as we may be, we know where we are and what to expect.  We know how things are going to work out (or at least we think we do).  We are in familiar territory.  So we feed the lies, we grow the ego.

The unknown can be scary.  After all we are amazing spiritual beings having human experiences.  Many of us have not even scratched the surface in recognizing who we REALLY are.  So the thought of changing our view can be frightening.  We don’t know what to expect.

The challenge is to TRUST yourself.  Trust that YOU have something wonderful inside of you.

But how? you ask…

Not too far from where my family occasionally goes camping in the summer, is an enormous limestone cave, the Minnetonka Cave.  It features a half-mile of fascinating stalactites, stalagmites, and banded travertine within nine rooms.

You can take a guided tour to the heart of the cave.  It is quite an experience.  Of course it has been equipped with steps, railings and lighting to accommodate for the hundreds of visitors who enter her each summer.

Now, once you reach the heart of the Minnetonka Cave, the guide turns out all the lights.  It is so dark you can’t see your hand in front of your face.  There is NO light.  It almost makes you feel hollow or empty inside as you stand there in total darkness.  It is cold and a little lonely – even though you know you are surrounded by all the others on the tour.

That is where you are when you believe and accept the lies you tell yourself about your worth and your abilities.  That is what it is like when you choose to feed your ego wolf and not your spirit wolf.

Start feeding your spirit wolf by offering it a flicker of light.  In that cave, in that total darkness, it only takes one small light to make you feel better.  When a small candle is lit, it lights up the whole room in that cave.  Because it was so dark before, you can now see more than you did with all the lights on.  You start to notice things you had not before.  Peace enters your being.  It is magical – just one small candle.

When someone says to you … “you are stronger than you know” and you start to think… ya right.  STOP!!  Light the candle and ask yourself… “What if that is true?’  What if I really am stronger than I know?”  And let you thoughts go from there.  Imagine the possibilities – only the positive ones, and see where it takes you.  Keep that candle lit and light the candles all the way out of that cave by asking “what if” questions and allowing yourself to embrace those amazing possibilities.

That is how you learn to feed your Divine Spirit Wolf and find joy and safety in who you REALLY are.