I was feeling a little down in the dumps.  I had no reason, really.  But I was in a little funk.

This is not my normal way of being.  I’m usually pretty upbeat and optimistic.  So when I feel a little off, it’s time to investigate WHY!

As I pondered, I thought about how much I love Christmas – the decorating, the baking, wrapping presents, the music.  There is so much I love about the season.  AND here I was smack in the middle of so many things I LOVE.  So why the feelings of sadness, not being complete, just feeling down.

Then it dawned on me… I had been comparing my life to that of others!  BOOM!  The smoking gun.

That nasty little “C” habit that creeps in from time to time.

I had been perusing social media and seeing all the beautifully decorated homes of my friends.  What appeared to be the perfect décor, the kind I only dream of!  The incredible talents of putting it all together and making it look like it came out of a magazine.

Then there were all the “family traditions” and outings.  Everyone looking festive and happy; Taking the perfect family photo; Going on a fabulous vacation.  Yep, the “picture perfect” life all wrapped up with a bow.

Then I see colleagues who are hitting amazing goals in their businesses and careers.  Work anniversaries, prestigious awards, rank advancements, speaking gigs.  Just hitting home runs and doing so very well.

When I see all these things my friends, family and colleagues are doing and achieving, I am honestly happy for them.  I have thoughts like “Wow! That is so awesome!”

But then, the “C” habit comes and knocks on my door.  And I start to compare…

“Oh look how beautifully decorated her home is…compared to her Christmas Tree mine looks like Charlie Brown’s.”

“What a fun family photo!  Look at how their clothes all match and everyone looks so happy.  Well, maybe next year we can get a nice family photo… although I have no idea how to get us clothes that match like that, I just don’t have the creative skills.”

“I’m so proud of Bob, he is really doing so well in his business.  He is just amazing and helping so many people, what’s wrong with me?  Why can’t I be successful like that?”

You see where I’m going…

I had fallen into the DESPAIR created by COMPARE.

Ugh!

In my 50 years there is definitely at least one thing I have learned… I am NOT like anyone else.  My skills, talents and abilities are different, my “life timing” is different.  Nothing has gone as planned.  Yet everything is wonderful.

I was working with a coach a while back and she asked me what my talents were.  I listed off several things – not one of them was one that could be presented at a talent show.  I think I caught her a little off guard.

Yes, I am different!  What a blessing.

I’m not the decorator Suzie is, but I make my bed every morning and this brings me joy.

I don’t have a perfect family photo on my wall; I have a family with dirty little faces and wild and crazy untamed hair and clothes that don’t match!  But we hug and kiss and snuggle and that brings me joy.

I’m not up on stage speaking to thousands of people and making millions; I’m in my quiet little world where I can be near the family I waited 25 years for and I help so many people from my little office in my home.

The only thing I ever want to find myself comparing is where I was yesterday compared to where I am today.  And if that is not in a better place, then it is time to go to work!

As you move from 2018 to 2019, take the “Don’t Compare Dare”!  For the rest of the year, let go of what you think your life should be.  Stop looking at where others are or what they have and wondering why you aren’t there.

Look at all the wonderful you have!  Look at how far you have come!  Look back on your journey and see how amazing YOU are.

Let go of that “C” habit!  Dare yourself to stop Comparing yourself to others.

You are on YOUR journey, not theirs.

And you want to know a secret????

That person you used to compare yourself to and feel bad about yourself because you didn’t measure up, is probably feeling the same way about you!