The Elephant in the Room
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room…
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Mother’s Day
The purpose of Mother’s Day is to express love, appreciation, and gratitude towards mothers and mother figures for their unconditional love, support, and sacrifices
Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the family or individual, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society.
So why is it so painful for so many women.
I spent 25 years of my life longing to be a mother with many failed attempts and several years of being classified as “baren”. Mother’s Day was arguably the hardest day of each year for me.
Why had God forgotten me? Why was I left empty and unfulfilled in what I viewed as my most important role – motherhood?
I see the devastating effects of infertility in the faces of so many women. I belong to some Facebook groups that are for infertility support and I can see so many women going through so many of the emotions and pains I went through. My heart aches for them – especially on Mother’s Day.
I love my mother. She is a wonderful example of motherhood. I love to celebrate her on Mother’s Day. It is a bright spot to a difficult day.
Yet not everyone was blessed to have a mother like mine. Some of you were abandoned or neglected by your mother. Some of you never had a mother figure in your life. I have not experienced this, but I can imagine how devastating this must be for you. I’m sure Mothers’ Day stirs up all kinds of emotions for you that make you feel crummy!
Then there are those women who feel like they have failed as mothers. I had a dear friend who supported me through 10 years of my infertility journey. She was blessed with so many children! And yet on Mothers’ Day she was filled with great despair because she felt she was a terrible mother. She felt she was failing in so many ways. How many mothers out there feel like this?
Now that I am a mother, I understand her feelings of inadequacy. They are real and they run deep.
There are those who’s mothers are no longer living and although they have great love and respect for them, Mother’s Day is just another reminder they are gone.
There are mothers who have been “disowned” by their children. How Mother’s Day must cut them to the bone!
There are mothers whose children have passed on from this life before them. Does Mother’s Day bring up so many memories that bring tears, sadness and regret?
I’m sure there are other situations that bring a dark cloud to the holiday that I haven’t covered. There are so many.
So how do we lift ourselves up on one of the hardest days of the year???
Good Question.
Before I had children I tried to celebrate my mother as best I could and then hibernate until the day was over! Kind of like hiding my head in the sand and waiting for the storm to pass.
Definitely a coping mechanism.
I think what brings the most pain to this day is unfulfilled expectations.
….I thought I would have children by now
….I thought my children would at least call me
….I thought I would be the first to go
….I thought I would be a good mother
You get the idea……
It is unfulfilled expectations that cause a lot of our pain and suffering in this life.
Recognizing that it is an unfulfilled expectation that is bringing you down is the first step!
Ask yourself, what is my expectation around Mother’s Day?
Allow yourself to feel into it and let it speak to you. How does it make you feel? Where do you feel it in your body? What does it feel like?
Give this emotion a name!
Thank it for showing up for you. I know that sounds hard, but when you feel so sad and upset, it is likely because you have a belief that isn’t true. When it manifests and you pay attention, YOU have the power to let go of that erroneous belief and embrace the truth!
This may not be easy, but YOU can do it! You are not a victim! You are a powerful creative being!
Then allow that emotion to flow down through your body and out of the bottom of your feet to be transmuted!
Envision a Divine Download coming from the Heavens above right through the top of your skull to fill every crack and crevasse of your body with truth! This is a beautiful, healing light.
Let’s say my belief was that I wasn’t good enough to be a mother. If God chose to give me children I would probably end up beating them or something that’s why I ‘m not a mother.
Sound pretty depressing – right?
Well, after I give it a name – let’s call is unworthy, I feel it in my guts and then I let it go down my legs through my feet into the earth. I like to imagine it in my mind.
Then I feel the top of my head open up and this beautiful light come in and it feels like a warm hug. It is permeating through my body, filling in every dark spot and speaking truth to every fiber of my being – I am worthy of being a mother. I trust God’s timing and God’s methods. I am whole.
This exercise is powerful! It is empowering! It just might give you a whole new perspective on this challenging day.
Discover your “expectations” and let them go! Replace them with truth and understanding – accepting the “Big Picture”.
The Universe is abundant! When you are aligned with the Universe, you have great power in manifesting what is for your highest and greatest good in a harmonious way.
Find a reason to LOVE Mother’s Day and put your energy there! Let go of how you think is should be and love it for how it is!
You’ve got this!
You can have a good Mother’s Day no matter what!