Time: It’s a Matter of Choice

 

 

24/7.  We all have the same amount of time – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  So why is it that some people seem to accomplish so much but still have time for what they love and others seem to accomplish so little?  And then there are people like me, who seem so very busy, but just don’t seem to get much done?

 

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When my family doubled in size overnight, I started sinking.  I just couldn’t get things done like I had before.  No amount of help from anyone else was making a difference in me getting my “to do” list accomplished.  I became very frustrated, to say the least.  I started taking my frustrations out on my husband and others.  I went to bed each night exhausted and woke up the next morning feeling the same way.

 

I didn’t have time to eat.  I didn’t have time to sleep.  I had a hard time fitting a shower into my day.  I wasn’t keeping on top of my finances or my physical fitness.  I didn’t have time to take care of my chores around the house.  I didn’t have time to work on my business.  I just didn’t have time for anything!  How could that be?

 

As far as I know, a day was still 24 hours.  I don’t think congress had enacted a law to reduce the number of hours in a day – even though it felt like it.

 

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Have you ever felt like you were sinking?  Your “to do” list just kept growing and growing and nothing was getting crossed off?  You were so busy that time just flew by at light speed?  Maybe that is what you are experiencing now.

 

That is where I was.  I knew I could not keep on that path for much longer without a total meltdown or complete freak out!  I had to do something.  I started scouring through my library of time management articles.  I even found a few new webinars to watch.  I’m not sure I really learned anything new, but I had an “ah-ha moment”.  Something I had been taught several times before, but never put into practice.

 

You see, I know how to schedule.  I can make lists, prioritize them and cross things off.  I even plan way too far in advance for my husband’s comfort.  I can easily block out time for this or that.  I love routine and planning.  And all of these are elements of time management.  Not to say I don’t have room for improvement, but I do get the concepts and I am comfortable implementing them.

 

What I had never taken to heart and truly internalized and put into practice is that how I spend my time is a matter of choice – MY CHOICE.

 

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It seems obvious, but do you really treat your time that way – as YOUR choice?  How many times do you say something like “I have to go to this meeting” or “I have to go help the neighbor” or “I have to go to work”?

 

Do you really “have to”?  NO!  You are choosing to go the meeting or help the neighbor or go to work or whatever else it may be.

 

When your child asks you to play with them do you say “I can’t I’m really busy right now” as you scroll through your emails?  It’s not that you are too busy, it is that you are choosing to do something else.  You are choosing to read your emails rather than play with your child.

 

Now, there is no judgment here.  Choosing to help the neighbor or read your emails might be the best choice for you and for living your values at that moment.  But don’t let a “have to” or an “I’m too busy” be your thought or your words.  Take responsibility for your choices.  Take responsibility for how you spend your time.

 

Most people who have not been mindful in this way, about how they spend their time, find they are spending the majority of their time doing things that do not align with their core values and goals in life.  They are doing things that seem urgent or easy at the time – not the things that will nourish the life they truly want.

 

When we stop spending the majority of our time on things that really don’t matter to us and we start spending our time on the things that matter most, all of the sudden it seems we have more time.  It’s a little bit like deleting “busy work” from our lives.

 

So how do we do this?  WE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HOW WE SPEND OUR TIME.  Eliminate phrases like “I have to” and replace them with “I choose to”.  You can add a “because” that reminds you of your core value at the end as well.

 

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Some examples:  I choose to go to work today rather than stay home and sleep in…. because… I value providing for my family above extra sleep.  The opposite would be:  I choose to stay home and sleep in today rather than go to work…. because… I value extra sleep above providing for my family.

 

Here’s another example:  I choose to come out and play with you, Sally, rather than read my email… because…I value time with you above being current on my email.  The opposite would be:  I choose to read my email, Sally, rather than play with you… because… I value keeping current on my email above playing with you.

 

Those might be easy choices to make, or even seem a little extreme, but here is one that might be a little more challenging.  Say Sally wants to play with you but it is time for you to go to work.  You most likely value time with Sally more than working.  So how would you handle that?  Perhaps like this:  I’m choosing to go to work rather than play with you right now… because… I value taking care of you and spending time with you and having my job allows me to do both.  I will play with you when I get home at 6pm.

 

When you start speaking the truth about how you spend your time it can be eye-opening.  When you say to yourself “I am choosing to scroll through Facebook rather than talk to my spouse or finish that project I said I wanted to finish,” it puts how you are choosing to spend your time into perspective.

 

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Take the “I Choose To” challenge.  Eliminate “I Have To” from your thoughts and your words and replace it with “I Choose To”.  Taking responsibility for how you spend your time will help you define your core values and lead you to choosing them more often, thus, effectively, producing more time for you in a day!



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